WRINKLY TRIP

TO PUERTO PollenSa, MAJORCA

Friday, 16th May to Friday 23rd May 2008

 

Friday, 16th May 2008

 

Well here it is the ‘dreaded’ Wrinkly Holiday report! I’ve been asked to keep it brief this time as Boss Wrinkly keeps falling asleep when reading them, so I will try. He can’t keep up these days – it’s his age you know! I’ll will try but I get so enthusiastic about these trips it is going to be very difficult.

 

Well, off we went from Blackpool Airport, courtesy of Jet2 Airlines to Palma Airport, Majorca. We were a bit concerned when three parties of Stag Lads booked in at the same time but the booking clerk said she was keeping them all to the rear of the plane and would seat us at the front. They were a noisy bunch as you can imagine and, during the flight, one of them identified my husband as his ‘old’ teacher by shouting “Mr. Earnshaw” down the plane. Peter went to have a word with him and found he had done rather well for himself (in the garden stone business) since leaving school. Guess he learnt something then!

 

On arrival at Palma, John checked the transfer coach and we were soon on our way to our hotel in Puerto Pollensa – or so we thought! We turned up at this rather posh hotel, water fountains the lot!  I thought John had really done us proud this time! Pam and I went to check in - they had never heard of us!!! Soon it was discovered that there was more than one hotel called Hotel Pollentia – this one was spelt slightly differently - Hotel Pollensa Park! Reg ran out to stop the coach from leaving and we were lucky that the driver was having a ‘smoke break’. Back onto the coach we piled yet again with our entire luggage. (To be fair, this first hotel was rather a long way out of the town and would have taken a bus or coach to get us anywhere interesting!) Soon we were at the correct hotel, which was right on the sea front – looking good. Pam and I went to the reception to be met with the words, “You’re late!”  Not a very cheerful welcome was it? OK, so we got delayed, so what?

 

All of our rooms were all situated on the front of the hotel facing the sea – fabulous. They were well fitted out and had all the basic necessities, except of course for Pam and John’s room. This turned out to be smaller than the rest and with not as much storage space. Serves you right for asking for the best room John! To cap it all they broke the key card off and had to spend the night in darkness as it operated the electricity. Not a good start – or maybe it was!

 

Saturday, 17th May 2008

 

8am and the lads were off on their usual morning run.

 

The weather was rather dull with some drizzle but we decided to explore the area. Very picturesque indeed, with a lovely promenade which was even better when the sun decided to come out.

 

The first evening was spent in Mulligan’s Bar or at least some of them were in the bar, the rest of us were sat outside.

 

Norman decided to barter with one of the ‘Lucky Lucky Men’ but his idea of bartering is slightly different from the norm. (Sorry, no pun intended) He was trying to buy a pair of twinkling glasses – why I don’t know. Anyway, the man asked for €10. Norman countered this by saying “no” he wanted to pay €12.  Then the man said €15!  Norman countered again with €20! What was he doing? This is definitely a lesson in ‘how not to barter’. Eventually he got them for the original €10.

 

Sunday, 18th May 2008

 

8am and the lads were off on their usual morning run but this time there was someone missing – yep, it was Boss Wrinkly. He just couldn’t hack it! Guess he stayed longer at the bar last night than we thought! Less of the ‘hard stuff” John.

 

The sun was out this morning which was a vast improvement on yesterday. A group of us decided to take the “Dougie Trip” to the town of Pollenca.  Dougie had been in this area before and so knew quite a bit about the place. Once in the town Doug said we were walking up the hill to Puig de Maria. Hill! More like a mountain to me! Still, never to be fazed I took a deep breath and set off behind them – well behind them! The excursion didn’t get off to a good start as Doug took us through a car park which proved to be a dead end and so we had to retrace our steps. C’mon now, this is a Wrinkly Trip after all! It was all uphill from then on though! Anne, Norman and Derek hit the top first. (Where they racing?) The climb was certainly worth it; the views were breathtaking. We thought it was a Monastery but it turned out to be a Nunnery.  A little different don’t you think – I bet the monks thought so! Evidently the climb was 1090ft or 333 meters. “Not a bad effort old girl,” I congratulated myself.

 

Back down the climb we all had a drink in the village square.  Then it was time for the bus back. Where was it? We waited and waited. Some of us walked round looking at other buildings and, on returning to the bus stop saw that John, Pam, Norman, Anne, Derek and Celia were nowhere to be seen. All sorts of other alternatives came to mind: they had caught an earlier bus or they had taken a taxi? Then a bus turned up – panic set in – where were the others? I reached in my bag to send John a text to see that he had already sent me one. It said they had set off back walking! (Handy things these mobiles.) Well, the girls were worried for Pam; surely this was not to her liking? When our bus eventually arrived and the orderly queue which had mounted up in numbers by now, all went to the wind as people scrabbled for the door! We British are too nice by half. Naturally we were all keeping our eyes open for the walkers and, sure enough, there they were. Derek and Celia well out in front, then Norman and Anne and then, not too far behind I must confess, were John and Pam. We were all so proud of Pam and the sight of them naturally put paid to our other ideas of how they had got back. They all made it to the hotel in good time too. Shame on you John for making her walk back after all that climbing!

That evening we all decided to use the hotel next door for our evening gathering – the Hotel Uyal. It was advertised that there was to be a tribute to Stevie Wonder as the entertainment. We arrived to see a solo singer by the name of Pablo, not a bit like Stevie Wonder, but very good never-the-less. Of course the quip came out that: “Stevie must have lost his way!” Anyway, the chap was very good and got us all in the holiday mood singing along to 60’s and 70’s music. As it was Dorothy’s birthday, John put in a request for ‘Happy Birthday by Stevie Wonder’ to be performed. Before this though, silly me knocked over a partly filled drinks glass which promptly splashed all over poor Pam’s shoes and bag.  Mind you, Pam was so quick to rescue her drink from being knocked off – her swift action amazed me. That girl certainly gets her priorities right. The staff brushed up the glass but left the liquid on the floor! This was only the beginning for me!!

 

Pablo gave us his rendition for Dorothy but nothing like what we asked for. Still it did the trick and Dorothy was suitable impressed and embarrassed. Then my second hiccup! The staff, in their desire to put us in the party mood, handed out sparklers and, before I knew it, mine had been lit and was flashing all over the place. The sparks landed on my new white trousers and promptly burnt two holes in them as well as two small burns on my leg. I just could not believe it! (Yes, I am married to Victor you know!) I was not a ‘happy bunny’ I can tell you so I went to the Reception desk to complain. He was a lovely man and very concerned for me but had to refer the incident to the hotel manager and asked me to come back at 10am the next day and he would try and sort something out. The staff also were very apologetic and it was such a shame their efforts has “back fired”! (There I go again – keep the day job Brenda.)

 

Monday, 19th May 2008

 

John was missing again from the morning run but it was heavily raining with thunder!!  Now, that is not the way to set an example to the rest of them John now is it? Not a good example for someone who always insists on everyone meeting up at 8am. Letting the side down BIG Time John – what’s going on – or “in” should I ask?

 

Peter and I went back to the hotel Uyal to ask about my burnt trousers and were shown into an office where a lady manageress, with a very serious face, came out with every excuse under the sun as to why it was not their fault!

  • We had brought the sparklers in with us. (No way)
  • We had asked for the sparklers. (No way)
  • It was just bad luck because; if you spill a drink on your own trousers it was your own responsibility. Well yes, I agreed to that one but I did not spill a drink on my trousers, they were burnt by one of your staff, I retaliated.
  • She said her staff did not do things like that……….. and the excuses kept coming.

 

Now you know nothing fazes Auntie Bren so I got on my “high horse” and very firmly said, “This was not my fault; I did not ask for the sparkler; I did not light the sparkler, your staff did, and they burnt my trousers and I expect compensation!” Right – done job! She said she would speak to the staff on duty that night give it some thought and get in touch with me tomorrow – another day gone. We shall see.

This morning was overcast and raining – what has happened to the sun? A party of us decided to take the bus into Alcudia. It was a lovely place with its city walls and ally ways decked in flowers. We came across a cathedral which we named “Ken’s Cathedral”. This was because at this point Ken M was leading the way into the cathedral but, when he came upon the ticket clerk, did an about turn back out again and we all followed. Canny Scotsmen don’t like paying over the odds. A tourist, seeing what had happened, asked if we all come from either Scotland or Yorkshire. We told him Ken was the Scotsman, and the tourist came back with, “Well the rest of you must be Yorkshire men!” Cheek – what was he implying?! We are Wesham Wrinklys on pensions and proud of it – not millionaires! It continued drizzle on an off all afternoon but was quite warm. It was a very enjoyable day nevertheless. We also walked round the top of the city walls which gave us a marvelous panoramic view of the city. Then we quick walked the 2 miles down to Puerto Alcudia.

 

Evening at the hotel Uyal again. This evening we were graced with the presence of a ‘nice?’ waitress who was not in the best of moods. She had a very unfortunate way of asking for your order – she just grunted: “What da ya want?” (This became the phrase of the holiday.)  And when she returned with the drinks: “You pay!” putting the bill down in front of her chosen one. We have been trying to give her a suitable nick-name ever since. She was a laugh a minute – not! She was so disorganized going round asking who had ordered the gin and tonic and then it was a bottle of red wine. How she kept her job goodness only knows. She frightened poor Ken P to death when she asked him what he wanted. His hands were well and truly shaking poor love. During the evening when another waitress came to us, it was explained that the other girl had toothache! She certainly gave us an ache.

 

Tuesday, 20th May 2008

 

Today was the Wrinkly Coach Trip organised by John. He does a fantastic job of getting us terrific deals on these excursions and this was yet another successful one. (You see John, I don’t always go for the jugular – I can be quite complimentary too.)

 

The trip was to take us to Valldemossa and the surrounding countryside and was to include a trip to an Olive Oil mill. (The cooking stuff not Popeye’s partner!) (OK – keep the day job Brenda!) Our driver was called Cisco and the courier was named Michael. Michael had originally come from England but had settled in Majorca and had been there for 10 years. His commentary along the way was really interesting and you could tell from this that he had taken Majorca to his heart and loved the place.  We were taken to places we would never have seen for ourselves. The weather was perfect – sunny and warm – this is what we had come for.

 

On reaching Valdamossa, Michael took us on a tour round the town pointing out interesting buildings and things of interest. In one of the side street my clumsy husband knocked over a flower pot but, credit to him, promptly repotted it again before moving on. It was in Valdamossa that Peter and I bumped into his younger brother Michael and wife, Judy, who had been on the other side of Majorca a few days prior to our arrival and were going home on the same flight. This was pure coincidence and very pleasant. Michael and Judy have been on several Wrinkly Trips with us in the past and where known to most of our party.

 

When it was time for lunch our guide, Michael, pointed out a suitable restaurant where we sat out in the sun enjoying our baguettes and beer. The last time we were here, several years ago, Pam and I order ham sandwiches and got Palma ham drizzled in olive oil and not to our distaste – this time we knew better and ordered York ham.

 

The company owning the coach was named, “No frills.com” and, if you are ever in the area please use them – they were excellent. A direct link to their website is: http://www.nofrills-excursions.com/principal/index.php you won‘t be disappointed.

 

This evening was spent in our own hotel. Moving the furniture around to accommodate us all, as we do wherever we go, we made a very happy circle. To detail all the hilarious conversation would be extremely difficult, (and much too long for ‘Owd John’ to get his head around!), and it would probably lose the punch lines in translation.  However, one incident I will try to relate to you:     Ken P, who was last year’s Sun God, and who now had to choose his successor, was, according to Derek, having some difficulty making up his mind. ‘Rust God’ –yes, ‘Sun God’ - ????  Derek offered Ken a solution by producing a small black G-string!!! Still puzzled as to what Derek was doing with it in the first place or where he has acquired it from, (It was nothing to do with Celia by the way), and how would this solve the problem we asked? Dougie then promptly decided to model it – NO – get away with you – it was on his head – what do you take him for? Dougie is very respectable ex-Headteacher, well, maybe not all the time as why would he do this? At the comment of, “You don’t know where it’s been!” it was promptly removed and thrown back at Derek. I think the idea was for the Sun God contenders to wear it so as to show the white bits from the brown bits – but I doubt anyone would want to try it! Bad idea!!

 

My luck was still on the down – two mishaps and they say they come in threes. So it did, I lost an earring! I searched the couches and, knowing I had not been out of the hotel since putting them on, asked the waiter if I could look in the dining room. No joy. After a little while though he came back, earring in hand and smiling – it had been handed in at Reception. Perhaps my luck was changing at last? Hopefully this would be the end of my bad luck.

 

It was a great evening reminiscing on past Wrinkly Trips, trying to remember who went and also listing Sun God/Sun goddess winners of the past and also the past winners of the Whiteman Cup. Peter and I will never be contenders for either of these. No.1 we don’t sunbathe and No.2 we can’t stay awake until the early hours of the morning drinking to keep up with John and Pam! (Having said that thought there was one night when we were up last with John and Pam but it was early closing!)

 

Wednesday, 21st May 2008

 

This was to be a lazy day – no trips planned, everyone doing as they pleased. The sun was out ‘big time’ – this is what we had come all this way for. Peter and I just walked, sat a while and walked again. It was a very pleasant and relaxing day – the only one I might add.

 

Today, of course, was the European Championship Cup – Man. Utd. Vs. Chelsea which was being played in Moscow. The priority therefore was to find a bar with decent Sky TV coverage. John found one not too far from the hotel called Fletcher’s Bar. It was a bit crowed as you can imagine but Peter, John, Pam and I had front row seats. I must say, although I am not an avid football fan, I really rather enjoyed the game.

 

Another ‘blip’ on my part – whilst trying not to disturb people on returning from the loo I inadvertently switched on all the lights in the bar!!! It is not my week is it?

 

At Half Time there were the usual queues for the toilets which unfortunately were right next to Pam and me. You know the score of course, Man U won on penalties. Reg, (proudly wearing his Rotherham shirt), who was also with us, got so excited that when it was all over, rushed out to the loos, and promptly entering the Ladies toilets. He wasn’t a bit fazed and just commented on how much nicer they were compared with the Gents!

 

This was the evening that Peter and I were last up with John and Pam. (Let it go down on the records that we did do it once!)

 

Thursday, 22nd May 2008

The lads decided to have their usual “Thursday Wrinkly Run” today by taking the bus to Formentura and running back. The girls were going along for the ride and to take in the views and were to take the buss back an hour later. His did not happen.  After waiting an hour, for the bus which did not come, we eventually decided it was a waste of time and separate parties decided to walk over a pass through the Boca Valley instead. Peter and I went with John and Pam.  Though, for me at least, it was a hard going up and down the terrain, it was well worth the effort for the views.

 

After the evening meal we all assembled in the hotel lounge to wait for the decision on our awards – the Whiteman Cup and the Sun God Trophy.

 

The Whiteman Cup went to Doug and Dorothy for their best endeavours in keeping up with John and Pam. This was unusual for Doug as he, like Peter and I, are early to bed most nights. John commended them on their valiant effort. Doug wasn’t quite up to speed with the proceeding and thought he had been awarded Sun God!

 

The Sun God was to be decided by last holiday’s winner, Ken Peters who, after much deliberating, awarded it to Cath Munro so it was now the Sun Goddess Award. I think this was well deserved as Cath did try very hard with the sun bathing, and it showed. Duly awarded, the prize winners posed for their photos. Next time we are changing the rules and Pam Chapman is picking up a brown shade chart from B&Q to compare the difference in shades from beginning to end of a holiday!

 

We all then went off to the Uyal again for the rest of the evening entertainment. There were a couple of musicians playing and, at one point, this old couple got up to dance. Well I say get up – the old gent could hardly put one foot in front of the other! The old lady had loose top dentures which gave the impression she was smiling broadly all the time. Mind you, when they started on the dance floor, she at least, could certainly move. The gent had to be steered in the right direction which, at times, he lost completely. Bless them, I applaud their courage and determination not to let this “age thing” get the better of them, I really do – though it nearly finished off the old chap. Peter said, “If I ever get like that – shoot me!”  Not long to go now then!

 

It was during this evening that everyone stood and drank a toast to those Wrinkly who were missing on this holiday – Brian and Janet, (We certainly could have done with Brian to find a decent pub for our evening ‘get-togethers’), Keith and Norma, and Les and Brenda. The evening ended to the strains of “Oh my Love” and we all got up to dance. At the finish the Duo said, “Thank you – see you next week”, to which Doug replied, “Why are you coming to Hirst Green?” Naturally this comment was completely lost on them.

 

On a slight downside to the evening our ‘birthday/sparkler’ waiter was not present and we asked where he was. We were told he did not work there any more! Was this a result of my burnt trousers, I asked? I felt absolutely awful but was assured this was not the case. By the way, I forgot to mention, after much asking, I finally got €30 for my burnt trousers but, would I have got it if I had not kept asking – who knows?

 

Friday, 23rd May 2008

 

The last day of the trip! We had to be out of our rooms by 11am but were not leaving the hotel until 6pm. Our luggage was kept in a safe room next to Reception. John, Pam, Peter and I decided we would use the day to the full and chose to go on a bike ride round the bay to Alcudia and back! Now, my rear end has not been the same since I did the bike trip from Little Bispham to the Metropole Hotel a year ago to watch the Blackpool Fun Run but, hey, never say never. It was a gloriously hot day, too hot maybe, (we are the mad English after all!), but we all set off and, credit to me, I kept up. We stopped for cool drinks part way and then John took us on the return trip and, yes, we got lost in the country lanes! Well, he is a Wrinkly after all. We kept reminding the lads that we were leaving the hotel at 6pm so had to be back well before then! Then the chain came off my bike! What next?  When the lads decided to ride up the hills, Pam and I got off and walked. After all, we got to the top in nearly the same time without the effort – not daft are we? Even the lads were walking a bit ‘bow legged’ at the end! The round trip was about 18 miles which I consider to be one mean fete for me never mind the rest. I actually rather enjoyed the whole experience and, when they invent a comfortable saddle, will endeavour to do it more often at home.

 

The plane trip home was uneventful. The only hiccup here was the landing. For those on a window seat, as we neared Blackpool Airport, is seemed we were circling the airport a few times. The engine roared and died – the brakes came on and off – what was happening? We thought the Captain had delegated the landing to his second officer!  The landing was, to say the least, rather bumpy and quick as we all lurched forward. It transpired that we had nearly been diverted to the Leeds Bradford Airport as the coastguards had spotted two hot air balloons in the flight path!! That would have been quite a disaster. Fortunately for us the Captain managed to land the plane on the shortest runway – hence the heavy braking – thank goodness for a good pilot.

 

Yes, Wrinklys really do know how to have fun. The weather does not daunt them, nor do all the mishaps that happen along the way – it is all part of the Wrinkly Experience. You don’t have to be a Wrinkly to come along – why not give it a try.

 

I know John and I give each other a lot of stick, (it’s all friendly banter – I think!), but I do think the world of him and Pam. They do a magnificent job, year after year, holiday after holiday and there hasn’t been a bad one yet.

 

Thanks to both of you most sincerely for another excellent Wrinkly Holiday. Thanks also to all who came with us for their excellent company.

 

Written by: Brenda J Earnshaw WRR Editor and ‘Well Seasoned Wrinkly’

Submitted: 26th May 2008

 

PS. Hope it isn’t too long for you John – there are pictures in it for you after all.