WRINKLY HOLIDAY IN PORTUGAL

Sunday, 21^st September – Sunday 28^th September 2008

Now usually I write a report on the Wrinkly Holidays but this time I thought it might be a good idea to find out how other Wrinklys felt about them. I asked all of them at the end of the holiday to submit a short report on their favourite moments of the holiday. Now, only a few have come through I’m afraid, (and I thank them most sincerely), and Boss Wrinkly only managed a few lines. He can talk but can’t write methinks!!!

Anyway, here are the few contributions, in the order in which they were received, and, at the end of them I shall put in my two pence worth just so John can go to sleep!

Portugal 2008

Hi! Brenda

The highlight of my holiday was, Tony Robbins getting up at 3am so that he wouldn't be late for the 8am "Wrinkly Run". Such dedication, shaving and opening his bowels 5 hours prior to the run, deserved the "Whiteman Cup" it was probably the greatest single piece of devotion to duty ever, for a Wesham Wrinkly. 

Written by: John.

Estoril 2008

What can I write about I’ve spent the week lying in the sun? Ok here goes:

Arrived at Liverpool airport, did the usual wander and then decided we’d need to make our way to the gate. We were taken aback by the size of the queue snaking through the scanners and consequently, by the time we got to our gate, the shuttle bus was just pulling away. “Calm down, calm down”, said the young scousse attendant “I’ll get another”. So off we went, (just the two of us), on our very own bus, up the stairs and onto the plane. “Eh, yer on the wrong plane queenie”, says the flight attendant. “This is the Palma plane!” “Ha, that good old Liverpool humour”, I thought. “No, seriously”, he said. “Yer on the wrong plane”. Back down the stairs, onto the bus, gave the driver some verbal and onto the Lisbon plane. We were met with tuts and sighs and raises of eyes, (and that was just the cabin crew), got seated comfortably and ready for take off. The Pilot does his usual welcome speech, “Good morning ladies and gentlemen. My name is Biggles and I’ll be flying blah de blah blah…. our flight time is 2 hours 40 mins and we are due to arrive in Palma at…..” PALMA! PALMA! Not again! “Err, sorry, I meant Lisbon. I’ll try not to head for Palma!” Now, a brainless bus driver I can cope with but a dopey pilot is another ball game altogether!

A short bus journey took us past famous football stadiums, (including the one where Celtic won the European cup), and onto Faulty Towers, (aka Hotel Pica Pau). Aha, I’m first at the desk to check in, great stuff. No sign of Basil or Sybil but a young local girl asks in very broken English, “Are you all Whiteman?” I reply, “Well we are now love, but hoping to change that by the end of the week!” Confused silence! I’m allocated to the first room on the list and was pleasantly surprised. Balcony here balcony there, lots of wardrobe space. Very nice, I’d call it a result! So, we settled ourselves in and started to unpack. The phone rings – “Anne its John. You’re in the wrong room. That’s our room. You’re in 312 and it’s not ready yet”. So John and Pam arrive to claim their rightful abode whilst we join the queue of other couples all booked into room 312! I didn’t think it was that sort of holiday, (Swinging Wrinkly’s?). I guess the only gratification came when we informed J and P that we had already availed ourselves of their facilities, (make of that what you will)!

We then decided to order a sandwich whilst waiting for our room to be serviced and Norm dutifully went off to arrange it. He returned 10 minutes later with a whole chicken and enough chips to feed an army, complaining that they couldn’t understand him. Ok, no problem, it looked good, so we tucked in. The next minute Manuel is out telling us off for eating a takeaway on the premises. We tried to explain that we only wanted a butty, but he looked at us with suspicion! Madre Mia!!!

Now, as both Norm and myself had foot injuries, we were unable to explore the outlying regions and therefore opted to lie by the pool every single day, ah bliss! We discovered that, with the exception of Brendan, (who provided our entertainment), and Chris, we had the pool to ourselves for most of the day. It didn’t deter us from putting out our towels at the crack of dawn though, (you just never know when those Germans might sneak in). I was a little concerned when part way through the holiday Norm informed me that the elastic on his swimmies was giving way and parts of his anatomy were at risk of exposure, (back to the Swinging Wrinklys again!!). Great caution and a watchful eye were required from then on. I passed the day by trying to improve my swimming and reached my daily target of 100 lengths. Watch out Yvonne! I’ll be right behind you on the next Triathlon!

I’m sure others will have mentioned how lovely Cascais was and how vast the Casino in Estoril is, so I’ll skip all of that and finish off with the highlight of my week. It was when my auld fella won the Sun God award. He had put so much effort into it. It’s not easy lying there every day, remembering to turn over and apply lotion etc. (Not forgetting the responsibility of checked your tackle remains under cover.) Well done Norm, (and well done to Christine for providing his competition)!!!

Of course the highlight of Norm’s week was when giant killers Hull City sleighed the mighty Arsenal. Come on the Tigers!!!

Written by: Anne Docherty

Portugal 2008

Yet another great holiday organized by Whiteman Tours P.L.C. As always there were many highlights. The trips to Sintra and Lisbon and the walks with Doug, Dorothy, Les, and Brenda will certainly remain in the memory for a while.

Over the years the walks have become a little shorter and a little slower with the thought of next food or drink stop never to far from our minds. They are still very pleasant. Another never to be forgotten highlight was to see the look of incredulity and delight on the face of young Norman as we watched his beloved Hull City thrash the mighty Arsenal.

However, I had to wait until the final evening for my own personal triumph, when I was awarded the most prodigious prize in international running circles – ‘The WHITEMAN CUP’. This cup was originally awarded to the couple who could stay up longest with John and Pam, well Pam really, each evening. As you can guess there were not many contenders among the Wrinkly population, and even Derek and Celia were beginning to show signs of feeling the pace, so the rules were changed allowing Doug and Dorothy to be worthy winners in Majorca for making an extra effort. Although Doug did nod off once or twice.

So how did I come to win this cup? John said it was for my dedication to running as not many folk start to prepare nearly 5 hours before the event. In reality they may have thought they would give me a turn before senility took too great a hold for me to understand what was going on.

I had gone to bed on the Monday evening with the intention of joining the others on the others on the morning run. It is not a thing that I do often so I slept fitfully waiting to get up. Finally I awoke knowing it must be morning. Putting the back light on my watch I peered at it with tired eyes. It read 7:10. Dragging myself out of bed I made my way to the bathroom where I had left my gear so as not to disturb Elizabeth. While having my wash and shave and dressing for the run I was all the while wondering how John did this every morning after just a few hours sleep. On going back into the bedroom I found it was still very dark and so took my watch back into the bathroom for a second look. It now read 3:40! After a moment or two reality sank in and all I could do was to climb back into bed, now fully awake.

When I eventually made the run all went well and I was able to catch up with the others every time they stopped to query directions which are about every 200 yards on an average Wrinkly run.

Thanks again John and Pam for all your hard work and to you and every one else for your good company.

Written by: Tony Robbins

The Wrinkly Virgins

The trip to Portugal was our first with wrinklytours.com – not, as you may reasonably imagine, because we’re not wrinkly enough - but because of other commitments in previous years. I don’t know what we expected, although we knew most of the group pretty well. I have been doing Wrinkly Thursdays for about five years and Norma for two. Portugal was a place we had not visited before and was on our “to do” list so it was an ideal way to get our first experience - of the place and the group.

An early start saw us off to collect Les and Brenda before going to Derek’s for a bus pick-up. A trip down to Liverpool airport, a short flight out to Lisboa, and from there a quick coach trip to our hotel at Estoril. The hotel receptionist didn’t know what had hit her as about 30 Wrinklys, all determined to be first to check in, descended on her. It eventually all got sorted after the three groups allocated to room 312 were rehoused, and we managed to get a transfer from our original broom cupboard.

Apprentice Wrinklys with the Sun God (and sign)

The pecking order around the pool was soon established. After taking compass bearings for sun trajectory and having consulted the long term weather forecast, (fine for first day and then change), the sun god candidates staked their places in the traditional German fashion. They then stayed there for the rest of the week as, despite the forecast, the sun shone without interruption. I must admire their devotion to duty, and the sun god and queen awards to Norman and Chris were well deserved.

The runners went out for their daily morning runs led by Boss Wrinkly himself. I believe the runs went very well, - (by his standards anyway), – only two little blips that I heard of. Being removed from a private golf club by armed guards, and getting lost on a train whilst journeying to do a run back to the hotel. I believe it only resulted in an extra 1 hour journey, 15 miles and two train changes to get back to the intended start point – arriving back for breakfast at about noon. Not bad!

Most people were out after breakfast in couples and small groups for walks and trips up and down the coast. Rail links were excellent – clean, efficient, regular, on time and cheap, (how are other countries able to do this so well?) Lisbon was a 20 minute train ride to the south and the old town of Cascais, a 20 minute walk along a really nice promenade, to the north. We had a full day in Lisbon taking bus and tram tours of the city and looking around several attractions, parks and gardens etc. We also had a day in Belem – the ancient capital with its historic castle, cathedral, museums etc. We had lunch there in the famous custard pie factory!!

The only trip that we did as a group was a day trip out to Sintra. This was organised by Boss Wrinkly through the hotel. Normal organised trips cost about 45 Euros each – he secured this for 15! “We’re not bothering with one of those guides, telling you loads of that history and stuff. Just a driver will do us.” I was a bit disappointed as I like to hear a bit about “history and stuff” but thought “what the hell, I’m sure we will muddle through”. Before the bus drove off from the hotel the driver donned his microphone and started a monologue, which continued all day, on all things Portugal. What we don’t know now about Portugal, is not worth knowing. (I’m even thinking of doing an Open University course on the subject) Poor old Boss Wrinkly and Pam were sat with the driver for the whole day and had to smile and nod in an interested fashion on a regular basis. Sintra itself was marvelous with a Moorish castle and the more modern 19^th century Palace of Pena all on top of a steep sided hill.

The homely, family owned hotel was probably built in the 60s together with most of the resort of Estoril. Before dinner each evening most people met for a drink in the hotel bar before either dining in the very good hotel restaurant or venturing further afield. We ate in the hotel, local restaurants, in the famous Estoril Casino and also down in Cascais. After dinner again the main focal point was the hotel bar. Full credit to Boss Wrinkly who must get the award for the best constitution on the trip, as in addition to his early runs he also had to be last to leave the bar each night with Pam!

All in all a great trip, good company, we will be back.

Written by: John Keohane

DOES THIS TRAIN STOP AT ……..?

There is always more than a little interest on a Wrinkly Run. You might have noticed that Bossy John gets lost on Thursdays but he managed to top all those little escapades by getting us lost in Portugal! It sounded a great idea. Catch one of the early morning commuter trains to Lisbon but get off about five miles down the lines, giving a nice coastal run back to Estoril. We duly presented ourselves on the station, crowded with suited people going to work, and awaited the train. It arrived on time and we climbed into a busy carriage dressed only in shorts and vest. Who says you can’t stand out in a crowd?

Excited anticipation as the train sailed through the first two stations. Ours was the third. “A bit late on the brakes,” I observed. In fact – no brakes! The train was not scheduled to stop and simply carried on. Where now, we all thought, Lisbon? Eventually it stopped about eleven miles down the line! Running back from this point would mean no breakfast at the hotel. As we pulled out onto the platform, rebellion was in the air. “I’m not running back!” Alas, no one has any money for taxi, bus or train.

Never short of the cunning and initiative that comes with senility we crossed to the down line platform and planned to catch a train back, hoping the train inspector would not board and ask for our non-existent tickets. John approached one of the Portuguese standing on the platform to ask for information. Quite bold really when you’re grasp of the language does not even stretch to asking for a large beer! But here is the genius of true leadership. The one person he asked out of the crows available turned out to be English! We were saved. Our station arrived. Our run was great and, ‘yes’, we arrived back in time for breakfast.

You cannot beat a Wrinkly Run for a little excitement!

Written by: Doug Brown

THE ALTERNATIVE WRINKLYS – ISSUE 3

Saturday night meant bed early, so we wouldn’t tire, ‘Cos it was 5.00 a.m. Sunday at the River Wyre. The arrangements were good, the journey was easy, But I had to take pills so I didn’t feel queasy! Estoril was the place, in Hotel Pica Pau, We had a nice room; we could relax and rest now. Brenda & Peter had a room on the very same floor, But Peter kept giving the number on our door! We walked to Cascais on the prom in the sun, We had a few beers, good company, and good fun. We visited Lisbon, the trams and the castle, And though warned of pick-pockets, we had no hassle. The Casino’s a must we were told we must see,

So we walked down one evening, just after tea. There were bright lights to greet us, and security gents, And wow! Michael and Peter tried to spend 20 cents! We went to Belem, to see all the sights, And in the Explorers we climbed to great heights. Next came the castle with narrow spiral staircase, Which Peter & Mike climbed, but Brenda & I couldn’t face. The week went too quickly; we had a great time, And I’ve tried to encapsulate bits in this rhyme. Once again we must thank our hosts, Pam & John, ‘Cos without their good planning, we’d never have gone. Written by: Judy Earnshaw (Alternative Wrinkly)

BRENDA’s Bit

Well now, weren’t they just great? It is really not about one person’s view of the holiday but the group as a whole and, although many did not rise to my request, I do thank those who did.

As for my memories of the holiday, well, I sound as if I am repeating myself but it was another fantastic experience. The hotel was friendly and very obliging. Eating and drinking at the restaurant was as cheap as anywhere else. (Being that ‘anywhere else’ was quite a hike away!!!). The staff was very polite and, although many of the waiters were not very fluent in English they gave it their best shot. Our own particular favourite was this young man, (pictured left) – isn’t he lovely? Mind you he is married – only just. Ahhh. He soon cottoned on to the fact that my husband did not like olives but insisted on offering them to him every meal by way of a joke. Bless him.

The weather was as Lord Wrinkly had ordered – sunny and hot throughout the week. Perfect for those wanting to enter the Sun God competition. I am afraid I cannot stand to sit there doing nothing for hours on end getting fried!!! I get enough of a tan just walking around. Sorry folk, but that’s the way I am.

There was plenty to see around Estoril. Cascais was a favourite walk of ours with plenty to see along the way. In Cascais itself there were plenty of shops and little squares with restaurants at every turn. There was a lovely marina but on several occasions the mist from the sea rolled in, quite quickly and unexpectedly and quite thick, which started off a warning siren. This really got on my nerves but I suppose it was necessary.

A trip to Lisbon was a ‘must’ and I was not disappointed. It was fantastic. We roamed round castle walls, wandered round the city and up an observation tower. At one point, when it was time for our ‘beer break’ we sat down in a street café and ordered large beers. Seeing the small glasses of people around us my brother-in-law put out his hands to demonstrate to the waiter that we wanted ‘large’ beers. Well – we certainly got them!!!! Next time I am tying Michael’s hands to his side when ordering! What do you think?

Unfortunately John (Boss Wrinkly) has called a “Gap Year” on the Wrinkly Holidays for 2009. However, he does have a very good reason as his son is getting married and that definitely comes first. Mind you, I hope your pockets are deep enough John as I have laid out for two weddings and they do tend to stretch the budget somewhat. All I can add to this is that I wish Neil and Lindsey all the very best for their future together.

So here’s to 2010 and a new programme of events and holidays for the Wrinklys.

Compiled by: Brenda J Earnshaw WRR Editor

Many thanks to all those who contributed to this article.

Brenda