“Welcome to England my European friend” The Mid Lancs Cross Country, Lancaster saturday, 20th January 2007

It wasn’t the best of starts to today’s cross country fixture.

I called Capt’n Young to ask whether the marquee was being replaced by an ‘ark’ this week??

He told me the marquee would not be with us today. “You needn’t think I’m putting it up in this wind,” were his exact words. I couldn’t see what the problem was. There were enough spare Europeans, (sorry, Poles), at Blackburn to hold it down!! Anyway, when did Capt’n Young last put the marquee up? I thought he’d delegated that job.

Our newest recruit, Gale Force-Wind would be making a very strong appearance.

Then Capt’n Young told me off, and this was before we’d even started! It seemed he wants me to run, (well that’s out for starters!), with my head up. “I’m sick of taking photos of the top of your hat!” Well, Capt’n, if you don’t want photos of the top of my hat, then don’t stand at the top of a hill!! He did at least temper down his rant with a reminder that, unlike our previous Cross Country captain, one Geoff Nicholls, he does at least encourage us, whereas Geoff just used to hurl abuse!

I was up at the crack of dawn this morning, which did not please my better half. No, settle down and behave. The reference is to me getting out of bed early this morning. I had a lot to do. I got my kit ready early and got a few extra essentials ready – arm bands, swimming goggles and flippers! I expected it to be wet at Lancaster, and it lived up to my expectations.

I arrived at the Fairfield at the appointed hour of 12.30 to find…………. No-one! Well, no men anyway. There was a good contingent of ladies, (you see, they listen to instructions). “Great,” I thought, “I’ll be second man today” (I had Karl with me in the car.)

Tracey travelled on her own; Joanna met her Mum and travelled with her. That left Amanda and Beth to travel with me. The addition of the two ladies certainly made this the best looking group ever to travel in my car to a cross country. It made a welcome change to see two nice faces in my rear view mirror! Someone did ask why didn’t I put Karl in the back and ask one of the ladies to sit in the front with me. Simple – at least with Karl in the front I didn’t have to look at his face!!

Parking was at a premium when we arrived at Lancaster University but we soon found a place not far from the course – in Morecambe! We noticed a van pull up close by and it was our very own Peter and Julie Cruse.

Then, out of the back fell a scruffy looking man dressed in old jeans, a sweatshirt, boots and a hi-visibility coat. From his closely cropped hair and unshaven appearance, I’d have said he was of Eastern European origin. Probably Romanian. I was about to welcome him to England and especially to Wesham when I saw it was actually Capt’n Barlow!

We set off down the hill to the course. Tracey suggested we stay on the tarmac path but we went straight down the hill over the grass, (actually paddy field). Initially people wondered why I had put wellies on. Now they knew why!

Getting changed I couldn’t help but think perhaps Capt’n Barlow was actually one of our new European friends. His number was hand written; his socks were pink and white – (that’s one pink and one white), and his spikes were covered in mud. He claimed it was because he didn’t clean them after Blackburn. I think he had been walking across waste lands near Budapest on route to the promised land that is England. And, as for the shorts, if it was possible, these were worse than Blackburn!!

So off we set, through the mud. Usually, even on wet courses, there are some dry parts. Not today! There were many friendly faces on the course as Wesham were co-hosting this event and had provided marshals on the course. I don’t know if they chose to be at the top of the hill. The fact they all had cameras would suggest they did!

On the first lap, going into the woods, I ran into mud that went half way up my shin. I made a mental note to take a different line on the next lap and this time went in up to my knee and fell trying to get out of it. As I fell, a man had his camera ready. “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!” I gently encouraged him. I made a mental note to go a different line on the final lap. Waste of time. I fell over again, but at least by this time I’d realised that the marshal at the top of the hill was our very own Brenda. I can be forgiven for not recognising her immediately because the only part of her face I could see were her eyes. The rest of Brenda was covered to protect her from the elements.

In the shower afterwards I discovered that my fall on the second lap had left me with a severe laceration to my right shin, (oh alright then, I scratched it!)

As I headed back to the car Pauline stopped me to ask how long Graham would be. I assured her that, as far as I was aware, all tattoos were covered.

As is customary after cross country, we stopped off for beer on the way back. Our Romanian friend had made himself very comfortable and was enjoying our lager with his new friends and Gang Master Cruse.

Brenda informed me that she is going to write a report from a marshal’s point of view. She said she’d write in a style similar to my own. How lucky you are to have another person who will give you the facts as they happened with no embellishment or exaggeration!

Well, that’s it. Another one to cross off for this year.

It’s the Northern Championships next in Manchester. Get your spikes cleaned, you’ve only got a week.

Written by: Brian Porter

Submitted: 20^th January 2007

Edited by Brenda J Earnshaw WRR Editor