MISCELLANEOUS SECTION

(A.K.A. Mick’s Section!!)

MICK’S REHAB STORY

People have asked me to write some thing about my road to recovery before and after my operation on my spine. Well, after some thought, and some gentle pushes, here goes. Hope it’s not to boring.

Were do I start? Well it all started back in early 2007. I had entered the London Marathon, my 5^th London Marathon, and things did not seem right. In the build up to the race I was having pain in my left Gluteus muscle travelling down my left leg and the pain I was in while I was sitting was extreme. The doctor and physio treated me for sciatica and piriformis and I had steroid injections which worked for a while.

April came and so did London Marathon Day. I had in my training completed 20 miles run so was confident every thing will be OK. All the hard work was done all I had to do was run 26.2 miles.

I set off and Carmel passed me at Cutty Sark ***** I thought I will catch you later - Yeh right!! Little did I know what was round the corner.

At Tower Bridge half way point I felt great. Even saw Pete Waywell! Well I heard him - bless him. I was bang on time for sub 3:30 then 200 yards on BANG. I felt an awful pain in my left hip/back travelling down to my left leg could not put any pressure on my left foot. I had never known pain like it. I tried to carry on hoping it would ease off but it didn’t.

1 mile became 2; 2 miles became 3; so I thought I would just run/hobble round on one leg. By this time I was in ‘stubborn mode’ and was determined to complete the race which I did in 4hrs 15min I think! I just collapsed at the end crying in agony, and there was Carmel, bless her, waiting for me, worried sick. People ask me why I carried on. I just thought there are people out there worse of than me “get on with it.”

So this is how eventually I had two ruptured discs at the base of my spine. GREAT!!!!!!!!!

December the 12^th 2007 I am taken into hospital for my operation on my spine and was told that, if I didn’t have it done 12 weeks 12 months or 12 years down the line, I could be paralysed down my left side so I had no choice. Spent the whole week in hospital learning how to walk and get out of bed which was only 20 mins a day and I was on morphine, Wow this is seriously good stuff. I was allowed home on Christmas week under instructions to go for walks three times a day but only as far as I could manage and to lay flat at all times except when I was eating. For the toilet break I had to perch to sit but only for 20 mins then had to lay flat! My first walk was pathetic less than 100 yards and I was shattered. It felt like I was on a boat in rough seas lost a lot of my balance. This is my core strength came in and plenty of it.

Christmas came and went and every week I was walking a little further in all weathers. Come what may. I was going to get stronger and stronger every day. At the end of December I was walking for a good ten mins 3 x a day and having physio 2 x week but still had to lay flat on the floor or bed till further notice. Each week I was getting stronger and stronger eventually walking up to 1hr at time with my new shoes MBT. These are fantastic - they make you walk up right and helps with your core strength as you walk.

February came and it was the Buttermere 20. I took Carmel to Keswick for the race. My mum had just past away and some Wesham runners came and gave me a hug. That meant a lot to me and I would like to thank them for this. It helped so much. I thought to my self 20 miles - that’s a long way off for me to run/race again one day though I will do it.

By April I was allowed to jog on grass for 4 mins every other day no more and stretch and stretch and yet more core strength to support my back. I was spending nearly 2hrs a day with my rehab. I was going to come back stronger than ever. After the first month of easy jogging I increased this by 1min from 4 mins to 5 mins easy jogging. Still on grass and every other day in all weathers. Yes I was still doing my core strength which will have to stay with me if I want to carry on running.

By the end of May I was jogging walking for 4 miles well pleased with myself and was increasing this by 10% each fortnight. I now do 1hrs core strength and stretching every day. Some times even more and my times have been coming down. I am running faster now than I have ever run in my life. This came to light at the Ribble Valley 10k. I think it was Dec 2008 - 12months after my operation. My last few 10ks were 42/41 mins. On this day this race was for my mum. At last I beat the 40 min barrier 39:27. I was well pleased and still my times are getting faster and faster. My last noticeable PB was the Sale 10 miles where I knocked of 6 mins off for a time of 64:52

I was out of racing for 18months and it was not pleasant in fact it was bloody awful, but Wesham runners & Committee have kept me going. They kept my chin up and I enjoyed being a marshal, (best marshal award) but Dave I think you can keep my VIZI for some time I hope.

All I can say to people who get injured is to keep faith and believe in yourself. There is light at the end of the tunnel and work hard in getting better. You will get there I promise. X

Ps I have an old friend to beat in April next year, Virgin London Marathon who knows how this story will end!!

Written by: Mick Edge

Submitted: 1^st September 2009

Edited by: Brenda J Earnshaw WRR Editor

You might be a runner if...

• Hearing the soundtrack to "Rocky" gives you goose bumps.
• You wear a black, plastic sports watch with your dress clothes.
• You can remember a time from a race 4 years ago, but you can't remember your friend's birthdays.
• You are not embarrassed to show someone where your hamstring "really" hurts. 
• You know your resting heart rate, maximum heart rate, and exactly what your heart rate is at all parts of your run. 
• You wear your running shorts underneath your work clothes so that you can quickly get running after work.
• You love shoes...running shoes.
• You won't drive by any running store without a quick look inside. 
• You know exactly how far a kilometre is. 
• You have more old dirty shoes piled by the door than a farmer. 
• You’ve seen ‘Chariots of Fire’ at least 5 times. 
• You read each month's issue of Runner's World cover to cover within 24 hours. 
• You get excited when you hear that there is a new Gatorade flavour. 
• You not only know how you did in a race, but you know exactly how every other runner finished. 
• You spend at least 25% of your income on running stuff.

Sent in by Mick Edge

1^st September 2009

Darts and dominos challenge

Venue, Lane Ends pub

Date: August Bank Holiday Monday

Wesham Road Runners Vs Lane End

Well the challenge came about with some banter one Monday night after our run at the club, this is when we all get together to have soft drinks after our training runs. I was talking to the landlord about his team and next minute it was game on!!!!

The pub was packed, err well half full, as the unbeaten challengers, (us), proudly walked in to the arena, the place came to a silent hush. The atmosphere was so tense, if Elvis walked in with a portion of chips, you’d have heard the vinegar sizzle on them.

§ First up for the Darts is Wesham’s Ian Vs John. Ian was well up for it, he was so excited it was like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline. He lost 1-0.

§ First up for the Doms, Lee (Wesham) Vs Bob. Result Lee won 1-0. That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus. WHAT A RESULT!!

§ Doms doubles. Wesham’s Ian and Dette Vs Andy and Derek. RESULT Ian and Dette lost 2-0 they looked about as happy as a penguin in a microwave. Hey never mind long way to go.

§ Second up for Darts Graham V (Wesham) Vs Jimmy. Grahams face was sagging with tension as he pulled Jimmy back close to a double. Graham Lost 1-0

§ Next for Doms is Tanya (Wesham/Bpool) Vs Joe. The atmosphere when Tanya sat down was like a cross between the Munich Beer Festival and the Coliseum when the Christians were on the menu. Result Tanya won 1-0 fantastic. Hasn’t been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions.

§ Doms doubles Wesham’s John & Richard Vs Pat & Alison who looked like they had been burning the midnight oil at both ends. Result 2-0 Wesham. This was like Robin Hood in the Nottingham super league fantastic.

§ Third up for the darts is Wesham’s Lee Vs Gary. I looked at Lee as he took his stance. It was like he had been sculptured. Whereas Gary is like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Lee he's not Adonis, he's THE Adonis. Lee was not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy. Result Lee Lost 1-0

Back to the Doms tables

§ Next up was Jason (Wesham) Vs Derek. Could Jason carry on with the winning streak for the Dom? I don't know what Derek had for breakfast but Derek knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Jason! Result lost 1-0 - never mind.

§ Doubles Doms. Alan &Graham (WESHAM) Vs Craig & Chris. The players were under so much duress, it's was like Duressic Park out there. The Doms was like a pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome. Alan and Graham are about as predictable as a Wasp on speed. Result 2-0 Wesham. Alan and Graham are as cool as a prized marrow.

Back to the Darts.

§ Next up for Wesham is Julie Vs Kelly. Kelly’s idea of exercise was sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy. The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board wait to see the clash of the girls. There's no one quicker than these two tungsten tossers!!!! As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here. Result 1-0 lost.

Back to the Doms

§ Could we carry on winning? Up for Wesham is the youth full Mike Walsh Vs Andy. This will be like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank for Mike. It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia. Result 1-0 win. Yes, yes, yes - come on.

Back to the Darts

§ Next up for Wesham is Alan ‘the Phil’ Taylor Vs the Spanish King Pedro. If we'd had Alan ‘the Phil’ Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home. “He’s playing out of his pie crust.” He's like D'Artagnan at the scissor factory. Result 1-0 lost.

Back to the Doms.

§ Could we carry on winning? Next up is Carmel Vs Pat. Carmel is striding out like Alexander the Great conquering the Persians” she as slick as minestrone soup. When I see Carmel I see two letters... C S... Cue Sorcerer. I heard Carmel say Doms players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength. Result 1-0 win - wow wow.

Back to the Darts

§ Next up for Wesham is John Vs Brian. John - this lad has more checkouts than Tesco’s so could he pull the shock of the night and win. His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry buffalo. Hungry to win.

Result …… 1-0 LOST!!!!!!!!!

Back to the Doms.

§ This is the last game of Doms could we finish on a winning note? Next up is Sarah (Wesham) Vs Alison. Alison’s quote is “Well, as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out” I could see Sarah quiver but I know Sarah comes from the valleys and she's chuffing like a choo-choo train! Eat your heart out Harold Pinter; we've got drama with a capital D in Wesham!!!!!!! Sarah is the Adonis of Doms. What poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax. Result 1-0 wins Fantastic. All the Wesham girls came up trumps in the Doms well done to everyone.

As the night came to a climax it left the darts doubles to match the same great performance as the Doms team. Are you ready? Here goes….

Darts doubles

§ Lee and Julie Vs Pedro and Brian. Lee and Julie they won't just have to play outta their skin to beat Pedro and Brian. They'll have to play outta their essence. These two make Eddie Waring sound posh and screaming like a banshee with piles. Could they do it? No! Result 2-0 lost.

§ Next up was Mick Edge and Ian Vs Chris and Kelly. The two captains coming together with pride not one of them giving an inch. Who was up to the fight? Look at Wesham go. It’s like trying to stop a water buffalo with a pea-shooter incredible! Wesham needed double 8 to win!!! Up stepped the captain for Wesham. First dart double 8. That was like throwing a pickled onion into a thimble - we had won!!!!! Result 2-0 wins.

§ Next up finally was Graham V and Alan Vs Jimmy and Gary. Could our two giants keep the winning streak going? There's only one word for that - magic darts Jimmy and Gary they were to strong for our guys, even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles hey but we put up a good fight.

Final results

Darts singles Wesham 0- 6 Lane Ends.	Darts Doubles Wesham 2- 4 Lane Ends.	Dominos singles. Wesham 5- 1 Lane Ends.	Dominos Doubles Wesham 4- 2 Lane Ends.
Final score: Wesham 11 – 13 Lane Ends

SOME PHOTOS FROM THE EVENING

Well done every one. There is talk of another one this Christmas for Trinity Hospice, called the ‘Trinity Challenge’ which of course is for charity.

Written by: Mick Edge

Submitted: 2^nd September 2009

Here obviously is a chart with most of the answers to a healthy life……
This chart is awesome!  Everyone can use it.  Please pass it on to others.

Apples	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Blocks diarrhoea	Improves lung capacity	Cushions joints
Apricots	Combats cancer	Controls blood pressure	Saves your eyesight	Shields against Alzheimer's	Slows aging process
Artichokes	Aids digestion	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Guards against liver disease
Avocados	Battles diabetes	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin
Bananas	Protects your heart	Quiets a cough	Strengthens bones	Controls blood pressure	Blocks diarrhoea
Beans	Prevents constipation	Helps haemorrhoids	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones	Protects your heart	Aids weight loss
Blueberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Boosts memory	Prevents constipation
Broccoli	Strengthens bones	Saves eyesight	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure
Cabbage	Combats cancer	Prevents constipation	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Helps haemorrhoids
Cantaloupe	Saves eyesight	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Supports immune system
Carrots	Saves eyesight	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower	Protects against Prostate Cancer	Combats Breast Cancer	Strengthens bones	Banishes bruises	Guards against heart disease
Cherries	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Ends insomnia	Slows aging process	Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
Chilli peppers	Aids digestion	Soothes sore throat	Clears sinuses	Combats Cancer	Boosts immune system
Figs	Promotes weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
Fish	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Supports immune system
Flax	Aids digestion	Battles diabetes	Protects your heart	Improves mental health	Boosts immune system
Garlic	Lowers cholesterol	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Kills bacteria	Fights fungus
Grapefruit	Protects against heart attacks	Promotes Weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol
Grapes	Saves eyesight	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Enhances blood flow	Protects your heart
Green tea	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Helps stops strokes	Promotes Weight loss	Kills bacteria
Honey	Heals wounds	Aids digestion	Guards against ulcers	Increases energy	Fights allergies
Lemons	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
Limes	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
Mangoes	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Regulates thyroid	Aids digestion	Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Kills bacteria	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
Oats	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	Prevents constipation	Smoothes skin
Olive oil	Protects your heart	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	Smoothes skin
Onions	Reduce risk of heart attack	Combats cancer	Kills bacteria	Lowers cholesterol	Fights fungus
Oranges	Supports immune systems	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Straightens respiration
Peaches	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes	Aids digestion	Helps haemorrhoids
Peanuts	Protects against heart disease	Promotes Weight loss	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Aggravates Diverticulitis
Pineapple	Strengthens bones	Relieves colds	Aids digestion	Dissolves warts	Blocks diarrhoea
Prunes	Slows aging process	Prevents constipation	Boosts memory	Lowers cholesterol	Protects against heart disease
Rice	Protects your heart	Battles diabetes	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes
Strawberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Calms stress
Sweet potatoes	Saves your eyesight	Lifts mood	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
Tomatoes	Protects prostate	Combats cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart
Walnuts	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Lifts mood	Protects against heart disease
Water	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Conquers kidney stones	Smoothes skin

Sent in by: Mick Edge

Submitted: 23^rd July 2009

Subject: FW: Children's Science exam

*If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers... **

Q: Name the four seasons. *
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. *

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. *

Q: How is dew formed? *

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. *

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?* (Brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow. *

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? *
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. *

Q: What are steroids? *

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. *

Q: What happens to your body as you age? *
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental *

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? *
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
(The kid gets an A+ for this answer!) *

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. *
A: Premature death. *

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen) *
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U. *

Q: What is the fibula?*
A: A small lie. *

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? ** (I do love this one...) ** *
A: Nearby. *

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean Section.' *
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome. *

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?' *
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Sent in by: Mick Edge